Mad Ink

You Are Going To Die

2011-06-21T13:21:00.001-06:00

* * * HERE IS A SMALL FACT * * *

You are going to die.

This is one of the opening quotes in The Book Thief (by Markus Zusak). The personification of death makes the book worth reading on its own. I am especially intrigued with this book because the middle grade novel I am finishing up, Lackawanna Prophecies--CHOSEN, is centered around death.

I read an article about the life of Walter Breuning, interviewed before he died at 114 years old. This is my favorite quote from him: "We're going to die. Some people are scared of dying. Never be afraid to die. Because you're born to die."

Perhaps easier said than done, but at 114 years of age or those suffering great mortal pain, death comes as a relief. To a small degree, I experienced the idea of this during the worst part of my recovery from a severe concussion. I was trapped in my own mind because any form of communication made me sick. I couldn't even watch TV or listen to music. It was just me in the dark. Imagining that condition for any significant period of time, and I have to believe that death would be a welcomed relief. My hope is that kids will perhaps be able to look at death with a little more objectivity after reading my novel. That death isn't as scary or horrid as it seems, but instead a natural thing that happens to everyone in its time.

The twist or hook for my novel is this:

In a world where no one can escape death, some are chosen to experience it again and again.

* * * DON'T BE AFRAID * * *

Dusting Off The Cobwebs

2011-05-20T15:36:00.001-06:00

Life interrupted. That's how I've felt over the past six months. Last November I suffered a serious concussion playing basketball--and the referee didn't even call a foul. Where's the justice in that? The body blow to my head was like someone scraping the bottom of a pond (my brain), kicking up a foggy swath of dirt, debris and everything else that made it near impossible for me to function on a cognitive level.

Man down.

Yes, that's how it was. Locked in the tower of my home for 2 weeks before I could even handle something as basic as a quiet, brief conversation. Phone, TV, my children . . . it was all more than I could handle. Everything made me sick. It was almost three months before I even dared venture back to the office for work. My brain got saturated so fast, that I couldn't handle anything that required serious thought for more than a few minutes at a time.

Don't make me cry.

Okay, I finally get it. Women don't have to have a reason to cry. Cry all you want. I did. The first four months of my recovery were filled with random moments of pure emotion that spilled out my eyes--sometimes for no reason at all. I was starting to wonder if someone had slipped me a heavy dose of estrogen during one of my hospital visits. Thankfully, order seems to have been restored in that department.

Will I ever be normal again?

Who knows. What's normal? I'm working 40 hours a week now and have been for two months, but I'm only in the office 3-4 days a week. I'm trying to bump that up to 4-5 days a week. I still get dizzy every day and nausea seems to be my new best friend. I've been wearing sea band bracelets and those seem to be helping. I've also been wearing a Halter monitor for two weeks to see if there is anything wrong with my heart. So far everything looks a-okay. All good news. My biggest issue is that my energy/strength levels have only recovered to about 70-80%, sometimes a little less depending on the day. And the brain drains are still happening on occassion. Doesn't that sound like fun? Yes, it feels like my brain drains out the back of my head. And when that happens it wipes me out pretty fast. I was in the ER three times two weeks ago due to the infamous brain drain, trying to figure out what was wrong. All tests revealed nothing. Hey, I guess I'm normal.

It's all in my head.

Yes, that is what I'm coming to believe. The muddy waters are still setlling and perhaps on occasion I'm still bumping into a log or rock as I swim through the foggy haze. The good news is that most of my life activities have returned to a new normal. I'm working. I'm writing. I'm throwing ball with my boys. Heck, I even started a major remodeling job on my home. I know, probably not the smartest thing, but there's no going back on that one--not after sawing through two walls and ripping out two other doorframes.

Dusting off the cobwebs

So alas, here we are again, not that anyone is reading because I've been gone for months. Hey, I know, you can only wait around so long. But I'm back. And I've resumed the re-write of my novel, "The Lackawanna Prophecies: CHOSEN." I'm working on chapter 18 with about ten more chapters to go. I was supposed to be done in January. Perhaps I will be--next January. I'm just grateful to be writing.

I hope you are too!

The "Right" Word

2010-09-30T09:33:00.003-06:00

Mark Twain said, "The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightening and a lightning bug."

When you're stuck, how do you find that right word? I often find myself checking MS Word's synonym checker, but those only go so far. What other resources does your inner "word freak" tap into? I'd love to know!

One right word that struck home for me the other day was in "The Help," by Kathryn Stockett. How often do we read about being short of breath in scary or threatening situations? She put a unique twist on it for me that struck home in a powerful way--a word that resonated because I had experienced it, but never quite thought of it that way.

" . . . my breath slipped out of me . . ." Simple, effective and memorable, it was the right word in the right context.

Lightning.

Inspiration

2010-09-17T09:24:00.000-06:00

As much as I love writing, sometimes I just need to be inspired. Spending last week at Lake Powell with my wife and friends did that for me.

One of the highlights of our trip was visiting Rainbow Bridge, the largest natural bridge in the world. There's something magical about the awe and grandeur of nature. Getting away, and especially to a place like this, rejuvenates me in a way that nothing else can. I felt twenty again (don't I look it?).

The creative juices are flowing again.What gets you going when you're fingers are plodding instead of flying across the keyboard?

Now Hiring - Managing Editor and Technology/Marketing Manager

2010-09-02T14:52:00.008-06:00

The "Managing Editor" and "Technology and Marketing Manager" positions are now officially posted and will be open until September 18th. If you know of any good candidates for the position, please encourage them to apply. Both of these positions will be a part of our new Global Communications Team.

Go to: http://lds.org/emp/new/home.html and type in a key word from either of the two job titles. As these two positions are for the LDS Church, you must be a member in good standing to apply. Pass the word on.

My New Job!

2010-08-26T17:33:00.001-06:00

Yikes! It's been almost two months since I last posted. I think I've been having too much fun this summer. Sorry. Now on to the good stuff. For the first time in my 12 year (post college) career, I am starting a new job outside of IT (information technology).

I am now the Global Communications Manager at the LDS Church for all workforce communications. The part about this job that sends tingles up and down my spine is that my professional job is aligning with my passion for writing. I get to be paid while I attend writing conferences--how cool is that? In a few days I will be posting a job requisition to hire an Editorial Manager and a Technology/Marketing Manager, who will fill out the rest of my team. Good times.

On a side note, I am half way through my re-write of The Lackawanna Prophecies--CHOSEN. My critique group has been invaluable in the process. If you don't have one, get one.

LIE versus LAY

2010-07-09T20:22:00.002-06:00

Okay, I'll admit. I just havn't been into the blogging thing lately. I've been too engrossed in working on my manuscript. But it's good to stick my head out from under the covers every once in a while. Here's a helpful grammar tip. Hope your enjoying the summer!

LIE versus LAY

1. PAST TENSE: Sometimes memorization is just best

She lay down on her sofa to read.
She laid the book on the table, I swear.
She was lying on the carpet when it happened.

2. PRESENT TENSE: Remember that the gerund form (WAS –ING) uses present tense.

She was laying down on her sofa to take a nap when the house exploded.
She was lying on the carpet when it happened.

TIP: Use an irregular verb like EAT/ATE to figure out which tense you need.

She was ating on the floor (no, so it couldn't be laying)
She was eating on the floor (yes, so she was lying on the floor)

Thirteen Reasons Why

2010-06-14T10:35:00.001-06:00

My eight year old nephew and namesake passed away, and I spent this past weekend in Boston for the funeral. It's only the fourth funeral that I've attended, and the first one that I've been asked to speak at.

While Benjamin died peacefully in his sleep, his body tired from the wearing handicaps he had been born with, it was still a stark reminder of the fragility of life.

I did not purposefully time the reading of Jay's first novel, Thirteen Reasons Why, with the events of this past weekend, but I'm glad it worked out that way. Jay's haunting story ends with hope and a desire to be the type of person who would be celebrated rather than grieved at their passing. Life is a gift, and Benjamin's short life was a blessing to many--more than 500 people who showed up to say, "Thank you."

This is a book I will ask my kids to read before they start high school, to realize how everything we do impacts someone, even if only ourselves. But most likely--always--there are others that we don't know about. Aren't we lucky that we get to choose how?

Story Structure

2010-05-26T23:29:00.001-06:00

I attended a fantastic presentation by Dan Wells, at a writers conference back in February on story structure.

If you 're great at characterization, but struggle at weaving a compelling storyline together, this should be helpful. He refers to it as The Seven Point System. Before you start putting this structure together, you at least need to know who the main characters are, what the setting is, and what the major conflict is. Once you have those, start plugging in the rest as follows:

1. Hook

2. Plot Turn 1

3. Pinch 1

4. Midpoint

5. Pinch 2

6. Plot Turn 2

7. Resolution

Of course there can be several more pinches added, or even plot turns, but this is the basic structure--and it works. Sometimes it helps to start backwards.

The Resolution. Everything in your story should be leading up to this moment. What is your protagonist trying to overcome? Is it an external thing, force, etc, an internal thing, perhaps a combination of both?

The Hook. What is the hook that will grab your readers on page 1 or at the very least in chapter one and keep them turning the pages? Sometimes you have to use the ice-monster approach (think Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back where the movie begins with Luke being attacked by an ice-monster). Starting your novel with a lot of boring background / back story information is a big no, no - - especially if you're trying to get published for the first time. Dive right into the story and sink a hook into their reader that they can't escape from.

The midpoint is that magical place in your story where your protagonist finally begins to move from a reactionary state to one of action and determination (think Lord of the Rings and the Council of Elrond - when they finally decide what to do with the ring). It doesn't mean conflict and turmoil is over, it just means they're finally starting that journey towards resolution.

Plot Turn 1, is what moves you from the beginning to the midpoint. Major conflict is introduced, the protagonist’s world changes, etc. (think about Luke coming back and finding his Uncle dead or Harry Potter learning that a world of magic exists and he's a part of it)

Plot Turn 2, (can you guess?) moves the story from midpoint to resolution--where your protagonist receives that final thing needed to make it happen (think Neo, "The Power is in you!" or Dorothy in Wizard of Oz when she realizes all she has to do is click her heels or Luke: "Use the force Luke!")

Pinch 1, is where conflict is introduced--and the pressure is applied to your protagonist. Could be a bad guy attacks, a sickness, a death, etc--something that forces your character to action (think Harry Potter - when they discover a troll in the bathroom and no adults are around to help).

Pinch 2, apply more pressure until the situation feels hopeless--like there is no way to escape, at least until you get to plot turn 2-- starting to make sense? (think about when Gandalf appears to have been killed by the fiery demon from hell)

This structure can be used for the Hero's journey, romance, tragedy, etc. - - don't feel constrained by genre. As you work through this, make sure your protagonist goes through the try/fail cycles (at least twice). This can be done through multiple pinches where it doesn't always work out in the protagonist's favor. Victory should always be earned - - keep building the overall tension to the resolution with a few small victories along the way. Spread out the action to keep good pacing (your beta readers can help you with that).

Last of all, remember, this is a structure and is not a replacement for good writing. It helps if you take this and break down an existing book/movie as an example. Give it a try with Avatar and see what you come up with. The format works on just about any well written novel/script.

Imagine My Fear

2010-05-16T22:16:00.002-06:00

As a writer, I often find myself drawing upon life’s experiences—even in a fictional world. Today, I share with you one such example that bristles the hairs on my arms, when contemplating what could have been.
----------------------------------

My wife had major reconstructive surgery on her abdominal wall this past week. When we passed the three day mark, she expressed a desire to take a shower before having to go back to see the doctor.

Mistake #1: not taking the recliner into the master bath.
When we unzipped/took off her compression garment, from her knees up to her chest, the pressure change caused her to be light of head. I quickly helped her sit down on the edge of the bath tub. That was when she passed out in my arms and started convulsing. It was not violent, just a lot of involuntary body twitching that scared the hell out of me.

Mistake #2: locking the bathroom door so the kids could not come in.
I didn't dare try and move my wife for fear of hurting her. She has drainage tubes coming out of her lower abdomen and sutured stitches spanning hip to hip. I yelled to her mother to come help--only she couldn't get in. Imagine my fear. I couldn't lay her down. I couldn't stand her up. Her face is ashen white and she won't respond. My mother-in-law is trying to bust the doors open, and I'm trying to revive the love of my life. My lips lock over hers, but her mouth won’t open. I call her name over and over again, but she doesn’t answer, her limp arms hanging at my side. I wonder for a brief moment if this is it—if this is how it ends—and everything inside me screams no! I slap her face with my free hand, desperate to wake her up. The bathroom door explodes open as her mother hurls herself through the double doors with the aid of my younger son. She grabs my wife’s shoulders, sinking her cold fingernails into her skin. Joy speaks. After almost two minutes of eternal silence my wife speaks, even if dazed and confused. I squeeze her tight and never want to let go.

CHOSEN - First Page

2010-05-06T09:40:00.000-06:00

Thank you to everyone who has read and critiqued my First 100 Words post. I'm going to spend the next month polishing up THE LACKAWANNA PROPHECIES - CHOSEN (no surprise) and then begin the querying process. As a token of my thanks, here's my latest draft of the first page of my manuscript.
--------------

     Shivering and cold, I woke up in the dark, lying in a shallow pool of water, on an uncomfortable bed of rock. “Mom—” My voice echoed. Frightened and oblivious to where I was or how I got there, I thought perhaps I was having another bad dream.
     Sitting up, the cool water dripped down my naked back and arms. Why was my head pounding?
     I couldn’t remember and nothing about this felt like a dream.
     Not able to see a thing, I lifted my hands out of the water and reached out into the damp air—there was nothing there. The musty odor and rocky surface made me think I was in an abandoned mine shaft. There were dozens of them in Carbondale, Pennsylvania, and I loved to explore them . . . that’s it—
     “Jude, help!” My best friend didn’t respond. “Jude . . .”
     My mind raced back, determined to remember what had happened, but the harder I tried, the more lost I felt. I had never explored a coal mine barefoot, never mind half-naked, and certainly not alone. The only thing I was sure of was that it was my thirteenth birthday, and that this wasn’t where I was supposed to be.
     Staying close to the ground as I got up, hunched-over with my arms outstretched, I sucked in a mouthful of heavy air and coughed. My body revolted against the wetness, and each time I coughed, it felt like a jack-hammer ripping through my head, determined to crush its way down to my aching lungs.
     What’s wrong with me? My right eye felt like it was glued shut, so I reached up and winced in pain as I touched the puffy flesh. What happened? Where am I? My body started to shake. “Help me!”

The First 100 Words

2010-04-30T10:03:00.002-06:00

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only. ~ Charles Dickens

How important is it to have a good start to your book? How patient will your readers be before the hook comes? I'm learning that as an aspiring author without a loyal fan base to fall back on, it's paramount. Here are the first 100 words to both of my books. When you read them, what does this do for you? Would you want to continue? How hooked do you feel?

FINDING HOME

     Emily tipped the non-descript metallic urn upside down at the edge of the glistening reservoir and watched with guarded interest as a gentle breeze carried the ashes away. A single tear rolled down her pale cheek. It was the last time she would cry over her mother.

                                                                      * * * *

     “So, are you excited for high school?” asked Mary, Emily’s new case worker. “Freshman year is always an exciting one.”
     Ignoring Mary’s lame attempts at small talk, Emily stared out the car window with a bitter scowl on her face. It was dark, cold, and rainy—summer was over, and as far as Emily was concerned, so too was her life.

THE LACKAWANNA PROPHECIES - CHOSEN

     I knew I was in trouble.
     Shivering and cold, I woke up in the dark, lying in a shallow pool of water, on an uncomfortable bed of rock. “Mom—” My voice echoed. Frightened and oblivious to where I was or how I got there, I thought perhaps I was having another bad dream.
     Sitting up, the cool water dripped down my naked back and arms. Why was I in my swim trunks? And why was my head pounding?
     I couldn’t remember.
     Nothing about this felt like a dream. Not able to see a thing, I lifted my soggy hands out of the water and reached out into the damp air—there was nothing there.

Party in the USA

2010-04-29T08:37:00.000-06:00

Something different today. This guy makes me laugh. FYI, critique group was great last night. I think I might be getting ready to share that first chapter :)

Critique Group

2010-04-28T14:49:00.000-06:00

Tonight, I am hosting my first official writer's critique group. I can't wait. Wish me luck.

Drop the mouse and walk away

2010-04-15T22:07:00.004-06:00

I LOVE spring, but I have to be honest with you; it’s not good for my writing. It took me almost two weeks to edit chapters ten and eleven of Finding Home. I had hoped, in some deranged world that I obviously don’t live in, that I’d be done editing both of my books in time for the LDSStoryMakers conference next week. I was cruising in March and then spring happened. I’m telling you man, I was blind-sided. Wham. I even found myself asking, what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks happened to me? It’s like the sun God has warped my perception of reality, throwing me into a funk every time I sit down at the computer, tempting me, enticing me, telling me, “drop the mouse and walk away.”

Query Letter - - CHOSEN

2010-03-29T10:21:00.007-06:00

I am getting ready to submit the following query letter to Tu Books. Your feedback is welcomed!

----------------------
Tu Books
March 29, 2010
Dear Miss Whitman,

When we met at the LTUE conference, I realized that my novel, The Lackawanna Prophecies--CHOSEN, needed a protagonist with a multi-cultural background. After completing my edits, I was reviewing my pitch/synopsis with Kirk Shaw, Editor at Covenant Communications, and he recommended that I submit to you (not knowing I had already planned to), saying that, "Stacy would love this." I hope you do, as I believe my novel is a great fit for the "many" that Tu Books is reaching out to.

Howard Alrik Adelmar, known as Howie, got his light brown skin and jet black hair from his outspoken, Lenape mother and his bright blue eyes from his murdered, German father. Having spent his entire life stuck in the decrepit mining town of Carbondale, Pennsylvania--often referred to as Garbagedale--Howie's world changes forever when he starts his first year of high school under the dark rule of Principal Blackstone, a demonic beast guised in human form, who has secretly controlled their anemic town for decades. Nothing is as it seems at Carbondale High, where Howie must choose to confront his fear of death in order to unlock ancient powers prophesied thousands of years ago by the Lenape people, to fight not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers of the darkness of this world.

Completed at 53,000 words, The Lackawanna Prophesies--CHOSEN, is a middle grade fantasy novel that explores how a young teenager raised with conflicting cultural beliefs is able to overcome his fear of death and loss by finding the courage to live.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my submission.

Sincerely,
Ben Hutchins

The Future of Publishing . . .

2010-03-28T09:33:00.002-06:00

Very clever. Make sure you watch to the end.

Virtual Word Hugs

2010-03-25T10:07:00.000-06:00

I love this image. Have you ever felt totally embraced by words alone? They say a picture's worth a thousand words--well, this is the effect I'm writing for with my novel Finding Home (of course, not until after I break your heart first).

Update on my word count saga: I've cut 10,000 words from the first eight chapters. That's some serious trimming. I have another 45,000 words to cut before this book is ready for prime-time. The goal: 90,000 words or less.

The Sharp Edge of a Knife - blog tour / giveaway

2010-03-20T19:38:00.000-06:00

In celebration of D.N. Giles new novel, The Sharp Edge of a Knife, Tristi Pinkerton has a contest for the next couple of weeks on her blog. You might just end up winning a free editorial review for that first chapter you've written and re-written a thousand times over - - only to find that you're still missing something. Click here to learn more. While you're at it, you can get a literary review of The Sharp Edge of a Knife.

Happy writing.

The Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN Pitch

2010-03-17T10:24:00.003-06:00

I feel much better about the two sentence pitch I have crafted for The Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN. But I am always open to suggestions.

"The Lackawanna Prophecies—CHOSEN, is a middle grade fantasy novel about Howie, a Native American teenager, who has spent his entire life stuck in the decrepit mining town of Carbondale, Pennsylvania. Under the dark rule of Principle Blackstone, a demonic beast guised in human form, Howie’s first day of high school changes everything when he must choose to confront his fear of death in order to unlock ancient powers prophesied thousands of years ago by the Lenape people, to fight not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers of the darkness of this world."

Finding Home Pitch

2010-03-17T10:03:00.004-06:00

I'm leaning towards a three sentence verbal pitch for Finding Home, although I'm not completely satisfied yet. Feedback is welcomed.

"Finding Home is a young adult novel about Emily Thompson, a troubled foster girl who has given up on life and her belief in second chances. When she's placed with a large family in a quaint, New England town, her mysterious allure captures the heart of the most popular boy in school, and Emily must decide how far she is willing to go to keep her sordid past a secret. A hidden library, a lost letter, and an abandoned well in the woods, help her find the courage to confront her demons, to earn her freedom, and to put her on the real path to finding home."

Making a Book Cover

2010-03-14T09:20:00.000-06:00

This was just way to cool not to share. Here's hoping for a great book cover of my own someday.

The One Sentence Pitch

2010-03-10T12:19:00.009-07:00

Last night, I attended the Inking Cap writing group session on pitching to an agent led by Kirk Shaw, the senior editor at Covenant Communications. It was an intimate group, including one virtual attendee, and it was oh, so worth my time and the adventuresome drive out to Eagle Mountain. I even skipped my second round playoff basketball game to attend, which we lost . . . at least its double elimination.

I am the first to admit that I am a novice to the writing world, but I will also be quick to tell you that I am a fast learner. How do you create that one perfect sentence that will make an agent ask for more? Lots of work . . . The key is to make sure they know the genre, the word count, have a feel for your character, a sense of locale if that is important to the story, the hook, and the resolution, which should not be open ended. Agents don't want to be left guessing what happens in the end.

I have come a LONG way from where I was, but I'll stop writing now and let you be the judge. Woud these one sentence pitches do the trick for you?

Finding Home / One Sentence Pitch
Completed at 90,000 words, Finding Home is a young adult, general fiction novel about a troubled foster girl who has given up on life and her belief in second chances until she is placed in an affluent, New England town, where after confessing to a shocking crime that she may or may not have committed, she discovers an abandoned well in the woods, a hidden library, and a secret letter that help her find the courage to confront her demons, to earn her freedom, and to put her on the real path to finding home.

The Lackawanna Prophecies--CHOSEN / One Sentence Pitch
Completed at 54,000 words, The Lackawanna Prophecies—CHOSEN, is a middle grade fantasy novel about Howie, a Native American teenager, who has spent his entire life stuck in Carbondale, Pennsylvania, a decrepit mining town, where he must choose to confront his fear of death in order to unlock ancient powers prophesied of by the Lenape people, thousands of years ago, to fight not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers of the darkness of this world.

Vanity Dreams

2010-03-04T00:43:00.002-07:00

What's a guy supposed to do? I recently discovered that my name in the blogspot world was no longer being used, so I snatched it up and changed my blog URL. Apologies to my three followers--ouch, did I just say that out loud? Perhaps it’s all a pipe dream, but I like to think that I'm making progress towards being published, so vanity dream or not, I'm here to stay. Happy reading.

I'm addicted to . . .

2010-03-02T01:24:00.004-07:00

There is no doubt about it, I am addicted to words. I'm not talking about your word of the day type obsession, although that’s pretty cool too. I'm talking about the act of taking innocuous words and crafting them into meaningful prose, sentences joined into paragraphs that can make you laugh or cry or rip your hair out in frustration. I love to write, and anyone serious about writing must put pen to paper or fingers to keys—regularly. So here I am at one in the morning, probably making no sense at all, but writing none-the-less. That’s what happens when I play basketball at night; it takes me forever to fall asleep, so I write. Although, my addiction to words goes much deeper than just writing. Do you know how many times a day I open my e-mail account, hoping to see an e-mail from my brother and editor in chief? I won’t tell you, but it might classify me as obsessive compulsive. I hope to hear those three beautiful words in my head every time I check—You’ve got mail, even though I’ve never had an AOL account. But it’s not just any mail I’m looking for, it’s my brother’s detailed responses to the chapters I send him week after week after week. Occasionally I get an EXCELLENT or VERY GOOD, and I break out into my victory dance. But even when the page is covered in virtual red ink, I’m never discouraged because it fascinates me to read my work through someone else’s eyes, especially one whose eyes have been expertly trained to read, dissect, and triage the literary work of others. It also helps knowing that I have VETO power, although, I have to admit I have rarely had to use it with the Z-man at my side. Yes, I’m addicted, but remember, some addictions can be good, so for all you word freaks out there . . . this one’s for you.

Word Count Warning

2010-02-24T11:47:00.001-07:00

A word of advise to would be aspiring authors out there . . . if you're serious about getting published, make sure you pay close attention to word count for the genre you are writing in. I read way too many blogs telling me to ignore word count and to just write the story, to just let it naturally unfold. Well, that's what I did with my first novel, Finding Home, targeted toward young adults, and the final word count ended up being just over 145,000 words. If you've got the clout of J.K. Rowling or Stephenie Meyer, then you can maybe get away with this, but as a non-published author, I have since learned that I have almost no chance of getting this published. The cost of paper is up, and most publishers have a very specific word count ranges they require a novel to be in for a specific genre, to even be considered.

Middle Grade books are typically in the 40,000 - 70,000 word range.
Young Adult books are typically in the 60,000 - 90,000 word range.

You'll find publishers who will go a little higher or lower depending on the book. If you're on the high end, you're book has to have considerable commercial value to it for a publisher to want to take the risk of the added cost it will take to print.

This means that I am now in the oh so painful process of cutting almost 60,000 words from my first novel. The process is making me a much better writer, but I would not recommend it to anyone, so if you're starting a new novel or even in the middle of one, make sure you have a publishable word count target in mind and that you are pacing/structuring your story towards that goal. I did this with my second novel, and it has made the editing process infinitely more enjoyable.

As for Finding Home, I've cut about 5,500 words from the first three chapters. . . only 54,500 more words to go. Ouch.

First Chapter Contest

2010-02-23T01:44:00.000-07:00

After weeks, months, and even years of pouring over my first chapter for The Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN and Finding Home, I have finally submitted them to the LDSStorymakers First Chapter Competition. I've only known about the contest for about four months, but I've lost track of the number of times I have written my first chapters, especially for Finding Home, which I started back in 2002.

Mostly I've relied on the sage editing advice from my brother, soon to graduate with his Doctorate in American Literature from North Carolina University, but I've also had lots of other help along the way, including my friend, Kimberly Job. On March 16th, her first published novel will be launched: I'll Know You By Heart. I'm hoping to be able to say something similar about my first book in the not to distant future.

LTUE 2010

2010-02-12T14:57:00.004-07:00

I have finished day two of the LTUE2010 conference at BYU and have been absolutely thrilled with the quality of the sessions that I have attended. My hands down favorite session was by Dan Wells. Ironically writes horror - one of my least favorite genres - but after hearing him speak I just might have to give his latest novel a try I'm not a serial Killer - which has been a smash hit in Europe (on fifth printing in Germany) and is arriving in the US this spring.

The point is the guy was hilarious, brilliant, and entertaining and has created a seven point system for writing a novel that innately resonates with anyone who has either written, attempted to write, or even cares about how a book is written. More on this subject later.

After the session ended I heard someone talking about how their group had convinced Dan to give this presentation, and my ears perked up. I introduced myself to Donna, the founder of their Inking Cap writing group, and ended up spending the next forty minutes talking with them. I am now going to their next meeting where Kirk Shaw will give tips/pointers on how to pitch your book. Kirk is an editor at Covenant Communications, an independent publishing company. I am pitching my novel for the first time this April, so I can't tell you how excited I am to learn from someone who does this for a living.

Show Your Love for the LDS Storymakers Contest

2010-02-02T21:37:00.001-07:00

Conference count down is on... just a few months away. For those interested - here is a link to a competition geared around spreading the word to would be authors, aspiring to write that first novel... or for those who already have. I'm in the first group still... but hopefully not for long.

http://ldstorymakerauthors.blogspot.com/2010/02/show-your-love-for-storymakers-contest.html

Oh the pain!

2010-01-31T17:55:00.000-07:00

I am trying to get the first chapter of my first novel - Finding Home - ready to submit to a first chapter competition and a few months ago I came to the painful realization that I had gone way too deep in describing my heroin's emotions rather than letting the story show her emotions. I came across some great writing tips and have copied the section related to writing a first chapter below. These tips deeply resonated with me and so I painfully began the process of hacking my first chapter apart.

I faced two problems. First: the first chapter did not contain a lot of dialogue or action - it was 4500 words filled with feelings, emotions and flash backs that while interesting and meaningful (especially to me as the author), much of it was not critical to the main story line. Second: my second chapter is where the story explodes with great dialogue, conflict and plot. So... what did I do? I swallowed my pride, got my sharpest axe out, and began to iteratively chop away at hours and hours of literary prose. My goal: to combine the first two chapters (8,451 words) into one super chapter without all the extras. If you have not written a substantial text before where you believe it's all good and then been asked to cut it in half... I don't think you can begin to understand how hard this is.

I am happy to report that my 8,451 word chapter (combined first/second chapters) is now at a much healthier 4,503 words, and the bulk of cuts came from my original first chapter - almost 4000 words worth (don't worry - it's all stored in a safe place). The initial pain of going through this exercise has been extremely rewarding as I believe I now have a first chapter with legs to stand on. The pace is much quicker, and rather than being told, the reader gets to experience what it is like to be dropped off at a home they've never seen before and to be stuck with a family that could not be more different than they are and told - "This is your new home." And yes... I've still got some more hacking to do.

TIPS FOR THE FIRST CHAPTER

1. Make sure the first chapter starts with action.

2. Show, don't tell. This means you don't need a one paragraph description of a bedroom, a character's thoughts on everything, and for goodness sake don't put any backstory in the first chapter.

3. Keep it short. It doesn't have to be James Patterson short, but a ten page first chapter is better than a thirty page first chapter when it comes to grabbing attention.

4. Watch your POV... try to stick in one character's mind for the whole chapter.

5. Cut everything that doesn't move the action forward. EVERYTHING. If it moves the story forward, or gives us a better feel for the characters, put it in a later chapter, but not the first. Leave the reader wanting more, not knowing everything.

6. You probably don't need a prologue. Editors often cut them, and readers often skip them. Try to remove it and see if the story suffers. If you really believe you need one, don't make it longer than a few pages.

7. And this is the most important---trust yourself. You've been writing since you were four. You know how to craft a sentence. Not eveything needs to be rewritten---sometimes it comes out right the first time.

Chapter 17: Chosen (The End!)

2010-01-28T17:18:00.002-07:00

I did it! This last chapter took longer than I had hoped, but I have officially written my second novel. The Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, is completed at 55,365 words, which equates to 99 pages in word (8.5 x 11) or 150-200 book pages depending on how it is formatted. It is the perfect length for the audience it is intended for - middle school/Junior High age kids. Granted, I have a lot of work in front of me to get it ready to submit to a publisher (lots of editing), but it feels great to know that I finished the novel, and even more that I am really happy with it.

I originally thought that chapter 16 would be the last chapter, but as I already blogged about, Howie had other plans. Chapter 17 ends with one more fantastic action scene that really helps tidy things up and sets the stage for the future. So what comes next? I'm not sure. Only time will tell if Howard Adelmar's story gets to live on.

I have a writing conference I am attending in February and another one in April. I am also submitting the first chapter of this book (and my other book Finding Home) to a First Chapter competition that is a part of the conference in April (due in March), which means I will probably spend the next couple of months heavily editing both books. But first things first... I need to print out the rest of my book so that my family can finish reading the story, AND I need to go home and do my victory dance. After all, it’s not every day that you finish a full length novel - especially in just three months!

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow
10. Cursed
11. Treasures of Darkness
12. Flesh and Blood
13. The Lackawanna Prophecies
14. The Devil's Backyard
15. The Bottomless Pit
16. Blackstone
17. Chosen

Chapter 16: Blackstone

2010-01-08T00:39:00.003-07:00

I have to admit that as a writer I finished chapter sixteen a little disappointed, but in a good way. I thought for sure that this would be the last chapter of The Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, and I was so excited to be able to report back to you that I had finished, but blast that Howie... he apparently had other plans. I think Howie is developing a bit of an ego because he's just not ready to be out of the spot light... demanding that I dig deeper. So the legend of Howard Adelmar lives on - at least for one more chapter, which I suppose is ironic justice because the number seventeen is a prime number, and it has my creative juices pumping.

I did, however, reach one goal: I crossed the magical 50,000 word count threshold, which in most literary circles is what you need to reach to have your book be considered a novel. I hope you don't mind if I take a brief moment to pat myself on the back - and not just because of this milestone. What has given me the greatest pleasure has been to see my wife, and especially my kids since that is who the I am writing the novel for, absolutely devour the story. They ask me every day with abated breath if I have finished the last chapter... desperately wanting to see what happens next - to know how it ends. What they don't know is that this is just the beginning for Howard Adelmar!

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow
10. Cursed
11. Treasures of Darkness
12. Flesh and Blood
13. The Lackawanna Prophecies
14. The Devil's Backyard
15. The Bottomless Pit
16. Blackstone

Chapter 15: The Bottomless Pit

2010-01-02T12:05:00.001-07:00

There is something to be said for a little peace and quiet. I struggled to write this chapter over the past few days with all of the holiday noise... and then last night I found some alone time and the story just flowed, allowing me to get completely caught up in Howie's world - emotionally connected in what I call an authentic writing moment. The Bottomless Pit is definitely the climax of the The Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, and I am thrilled with how it turned out - hopefully one of those "No way!" moments that readers have when the author throws a twist at them that they never saw coming, but that feels right and makes perfect sense, one that the book wouldn't be complete without. The readers will be the judge... and I hope someday there will be many of them!

At 49,354 words... chapter fifteen is done - right on track for my targetted 50,000 word count and only one closing chapter left to write. Hip hip hooray! Zach... I hope you're ready for this one.... :)

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow
10. Cursed
11. Treasures of Darkness
12. Flesh and Blood
13. The Lackawanna Prophecies
14. The Devil's Backyard
15. The Bottomless Pit

Chapter 14: The Devil's Backyard

2009-12-30T15:54:00.000-07:00

I had a vote over what to name this chapter and "The Devil's Backyard," is the one that my wife and kids chose. I like it too. The pace is moving quite fast now... and the climax is near. A brilliant twist came to me last night as I lay awake tossing and turning in bed, trying to figure out how to get to the end of this book. I think I have two chapters left at the most... but I never know for sure until they are written. With chapter fourteen in the books, I am now at 46,227 words - a healthy number for this kind of book, and right on track to finish in the 50,000 word range. Not bad for two months work

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow
10. Cursed
11. Treasures of Darkness
12. Flesh and Blood
13. The Lackawanna Prophecies
14. The Devil's Backyard

Chapter 13: The Lackawanna Prophecies

2009-12-24T14:59:00.000-07:00

This chapter took longer to write than I had hoped it would... but I am pleased with the end result. In this chapter, Howie continues to learn about the hidden world and powers that have recently been revealed to him and most importantly why and what he was chosen for. The end is nearing - I can feel it, although Christmas might not be in the picture for finishing the book like I had hoped it would. Maybe the New Year :) Its so hard... to balance my time writing with time at home, work, the holidays, time with my wife, my kids, getting ready for Christmas, doing Scouts, and yes, watching football :) I think I have too many priorities.

I think the the key is to just keep writing... not unlike the jingle from Finding Nemo where Dora says, "Just keep swimming... just keep swimming," I have to do the same... Just keep writing... just keep writing... and someday I'll wake up and my book will be done.

Have a Merry Christmas

43,487 words written!

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow
10. Cursed
11. Treasures of Darkness
12. Flesh and Blood
13. The Lackawanna Prophecies

Chapter 12: Flesh and Blood

2009-12-15T17:12:00.000-07:00

Ok - so "Flesh and Blood" sounds worse than it is... the Lackwanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, is targetted towards middle school kids after all, but it is a GREAT chapter title, and it is very much reflective of what this chapter is about. This is the chapter where everything bad that has happened to Howie up to this point starts to make sense for both Howie and the reader - where his new world (so to speak) comes into focus. As a result this was one of the most challenging chapters to write, only complicated further by the fact that it introduces an entirely new set of characters that have been there all along the way.

Almost 40,000 words written now and chapter 13 is next... which could not come at a more perfect time, given the symbolism of the number 13 that I use throughout the book.

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow
10. Cursed
11. Treasures of Darkness
12. Flesh and Blood

Chapter 11: Treasures of Darkness

2009-12-13T21:22:00.000-07:00

So yes... I'm still cruising along with The Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, and the creative juices are pumping, sometimes keeping up very late at night. I was up until 4:30am one night this week and almost 2am another because after trying to sleep for two hours I couldn't stand it anymore and finally had to get up and pound out what was coursing through my brain. This Howie kid won't leave me alone, and I kind of like that.

I LOVED writing this chapter - Treasures of Darkness - as it just poured out of me and was almost effortless. I am now in this over 35,000 words strong and am defintiely at or past the half way point to completing this book.

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow
10. Cursed
11. Treasures of Darkness

My First Writer's Conference

2009-12-06T11:39:00.002-07:00

It's official. I am signed up to attend my first professional writer's conference - April 23-24, 2010. As a part of this I will be giving a one on one pitch of my new book Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, to Nephele Tempest, from the The Knight Agency (this is not an LDS Agency). I had hoped to pitch to Lauran Rennert with Andrea Brown Literary Agency but her pitch session was sold out by the time I found out about this conference. I've had her on my agency watch list for over a year now. At least I will still get to meet her and introduce myself.

I will be attending several lectures, workshops and of course my chance to pitch my book. It's hard to describe how excited I am for this, but the biggest thing is just an opportunity to network with other authors and publishers. All attendees can also participate in a First Chapter contest for unpublished works for several genres. So... it's time to hit the keyboard and to let the creative juices flow - I've got another deadline and a goal.

So I didn't make it

2009-12-04T12:30:00.000-07:00

I am dissapointed to report that I didn't complete the 50,000 word novel in one month, but the last week of November was filled with house guests for the holiday and I did almost no writing. I did make it to 27,000 words though and I am REALLY happy with what I have so far. My new goal is to finish the first draft of Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, by Christmas. This has been a fantastic book to write, and I am excited to see where it will end (although I do have a vauge idea).

What's in a Chapter Title?

2009-11-19T22:48:00.002-07:00

One of my favorite parts about writing children's fiction is coming up with cool and creative chapter titles. The Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, is my first attempt at children's literature and it has been nothing short of a breathtaking literary experience for me. There are no rules when it comes to a child's imagination and crawling back into that persona has been rejuvinating. Here are the chapters I have written thus far:

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow

So... while I love I am in love with these chapter titles and especially the content beneath them, what does it do for you? Would these chapter titles alone be enough to pull you in... to start to get a picture of the world of Howard Adelmar?

Excerpts from The Lackawanna Prophecies

2009-11-13T22:26:00.005-07:00

A few teasers from my new book I am working on...

------

Ma had told me to expect to see and experience new things as my body changed, but this was way off the charts. I was having a hard time believing that disappearing people, burning hands, and Jude’s sudden and wild mood swings, and shifty behavior had anything to do with puberty. If Jude had been a girl, maybe – but he wasn’t; there just wasn’t any logical explanation for what was happening to us, and I resented the fact that he was trying to blame me for everything that had happened.

------

We were just a few hours into our first day of school at Carbondale High, and somehow we had both dramatically changed. After having spent our entire life on the same track, it was like someone had mysteriously thrown a switch and sent us careening off in different directions while we were still moving at full speed. And the thing that made me angrier than anything was that it didn’t feel like either of us had chosen the new path that we were on; it just happened.

------

We stood there staring at each other, neither one of us willing to back down. This was new territory for both of us; we had never fought before, not like this. Jude refused to answer my questions about Adrian or his sudden change in attitude, and at the same time I was holding back information about Kevin, the key and the fact that somehow I had made it through the senior wing twice without anyone seeing me. We were both guilty of hiding secrets, and even though neither of us was willing to admit it, we both knew it to be true.

------

           Mr. Xavier blew his whistle. “Listen up,” the muscle bound gym teacher shouted. He had on a tight white t-shirt, and khaki swim trunks. “I thought we’d start the year out with something new – water polo.”
           “Are you kidding,” Tyson said, “What you think this is, Club Med? Man wake up, you in Carbondale!”
           “And you are?” the new teacher asked.
           “Tyson Carter, sir,” he said, saluting.
           “Well, Tyson, that doesn’t mean you can’t expand your horizons.”
           “Don’t I look like I’ve expanded enough,” he said pointing to the hefty rolls of fat that folded over his uncomfortably tight swim trunks. The entire class, including Mr. Xavier burst into laughter at his self-appointed joke.

Vince Flynn

2009-11-13T22:18:00.001-07:00

Vince Flynn is one of my favorite political thriller authors. Packed with action and intrigue crafted around plausible real world scenarios, I have fallen in love with his series featuring Mitch Rapp.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

2009-11-13T21:51:00.002-07:00

For me, this book, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, by Mary Ann Shaffer, is my best read of 2009. My sister recommended it and while it started just a tad slow for me, once it got going I didn't want to put it down. The style of the book (written as a series of letters) is VERY clever and it is based on actual events on the island of Guernsey off the UK coast during the German occupation. A must read for anyone who loves great literature. On a side note, it was Mary Ann's first and only published novel. She passed away in February of 2008. I hope that I get to publish many books before my time comes.

The Lackawanna Prophecies: Chosen

2009-11-13T13:51:00.007-07:00

This is the title of my new novel I am working on, and which I hope to have completey written in the month of November. For those interested, here is a brief synoposis:

SYNOPSIS
The Lackawanna Prophecies say that there is one who will rise up in the black city that time forgot, who will bring back hope and promise of a better future, a stronger tomorrow, and this is the story of how an unknowing thirteen year old boy, Howard Adelmar, was chosen. After a tiresome summer of begging his ma, she finally agreed to let him transfer from Sacred Heart, a small private Catholic school, to Carbondale High, a combined public Junior/Senior High School in an old run down mining town in Eastern Pennsylvania. Howie doesn't believe in superstitions, but when he is assigned locker number thirteen, a series of crazy events begin to unfold on his first day of school, turning his world upside down as he gets sucked into a dangerous and thrilling age-old struggle of good versus evil. Burning hands, smoking nostrils, vanishing students, and a dead girl at the foot of his locker, and that's just his first day of school - a place where nothing is as it seems!

Write a 50,000 word novel in one month!

2009-11-13T13:17:00.002-07:00

I am officially in. I just learned from a friend of mine that November is National Novel Writing Month. The acronym often used for this is "NaNoWriMo." He told me about this when I informed him that in the last week I had written the first 13,000 words of my new novel. So now I am officially going to try and finish my novel before the end of the month. Just a couple of weeks to go to get to at least 50,000 words (official competition rules). I don't like trying to write to a prescribed number of words, but this book is a children's/young adult book so it should end up being right around there.

I have provided a link to my NaNoWriMo profile below. Wish me luck!

http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/608798