Query Letter Best Practices

What I Learned From 25 Professional Critiques. 

Pete J. Knapp is a literary agent at the Park Literary Group, LLC, focused on middle grade and young adult fiction. He recently held a query critique e-conference where 25 writers were lucky enough to have their query critiqued by him in a public forum, free of charge. Unfortunately, he didn't choose mine. I still came out on top because I synthesized all 25 professional critiques into a list of query letter best practices. I’ve broken it down into three sections: the general query letter, the plot/synopsis, and a list of don’ts. I hope you benefit from this as much as I have. Thanks, Pete! 

QUERY LETTER BEST PRACTICES

• Open the query letter with the most exciting part: the story plot. Not the title of your book or how you found out about the agent. The one exception to this is when you have a personal connection to the agent.
• Query letters that match the style of the book are more successful. If your book is supposed to be funny, the query letter better make the agent laugh. Find the voice of your protagonist and pretend that he or she is writing the query letter for you.
• If your story has SciFi or Fantasy elements to it, this should be clear early on in the plot/synopsis. When saved for the end, it comes across as a bait and switch.
• Your query letter should read like a letter. Lists can be risky.
• The most important element to your query letter is your plot/synopsis.
• Sell the story, not why you wrote it.
• Even quiet stories must have something that shows why this is “THE” story worth telling.
• Scientific, medical, or other complex terms used in a query should be explained if they are not common knowledge.
• Break the query into three parts:
• The plot/synopsis
• Your book title, genre, word count, and what it's most like (similar to)
• Personal connection (why you chose this agent) and any relevant credentials
• Keep your query letter between 200 and 500 words, with 350 being the happy medium. Either end of this range can be too short or too long if not done right.
• Pete critiqued more queries for being too short (not enough detail) then he did for being too long.   
• Include credentials that make you an authoritative subject matter.
• Why you chose this agent: keep it short and relevant.
• Your book is similar to another book the agent likes (always state which one), we met at a conference, etc.

PLOT/SYNOPSIS – BEST PRACTICES

• Start in the action—what does your protagonist want?
• The first sentence of plot/synopsis needs to excite the agent, set your story apart.
• Explain the extraordinary instead of stating the ordinary (what makes your story different?
• Introduce the protagonist in the opening paragraph.
• Keep your plot points in sequential order.
• Your protagonist must have compelling reasons for the decisions they make—keep motives clear.
• Show how the character arc develops—what are the emotional/physical challenges that develop your protagonist?
• Use specific examples—if you can’t show how they change over the course of the story, then your story isn’t worth reading.
• What’s at stake—low risk translates to low reward for the reader and agent.
• Tell what the protagonist wants, why they can’t have it, and how he he/she gets there.
• Make plot points clear, easily understood. Agents want to know what they’re getting and general statements that leave them guessing don’t help.
• Always explain a character’s importance if you mention them by name.
• Use normal case for character names (don’t use CAPS).
• Everything in your plot/synopsis should make an agent want to read your book.
• Include the emotional state of the protagonist in the plot.
• State the objective/motive of villain or it will come across as flat.
• End plot/synopsis with a punch.
• Let the theme of the story be shown through the plot description rather than telling it up front.
• When using a hook, let it be a standalone sentence/paragraph.
• Some agents, like Pete, prefer you start at the beginning of the plot and let it build rather than throwing the hook up front.
• Choose your plot points sparingly. Trying to explain too much will sink the query letter. Better to have fewer plot points with necessary detail than many plot points and little detail.
• Specifics, specifics, specifics . . . don’t leave the agent guessing.
• Leaving teasers like “family Secrets”, “tested”, “special powers”, etc. without explaining the what or the why will sink your query.
• Make sure your plot/synopsis flows, reads smooth from one sentence to the next. There is no such thing as a scene change in a query letter. Lead your agent from the beginning to the end of the story arc. How they got from point A to point D of your plot points should read logically.

WHAT NOT TO DO – BEST PRACTICES

• Avoid using a quote from your novel in the first sentence – opinions may differ on this, but quotes generally don’t provide any of the vital information agents are looking for about a story.
• Questions distract agents from the story you’re trying to convey - - tell, don’t ask.
• Don’t be presumptuous (I look forward to hearing from you soon).
• No need to state that you are looking for representation.
• Avoid excessive use of adjectives (more than one to describe a noun).
• Don’t ramble on about why the agent will like your book. Let him/her decide for themselves.
• Avoid using headers – paragraph form is preferred – this is a query “letter” afterall.
• Don’t repeat yourself (say the same thing twice in different ways).

If you liked this post, you might also be interested in my BETA READER CRITIQUE GUIDE or my QUERY LETTER SUCCESS site where you can read a collection of more than 25 successful query letters that helped authors sign contracts with literary agents and/or publishing companies.

Happy writing!

Ben

Create a Flexible Story Outline in 7 Steps

I have yet to write a story by creating an outline first, but Brian Klem's article has convinced me to give it a try. I love letting a story take me where it will, but I believe this creative approach may double the editing work needed after the first draft is completed, unless you're a prodigy and can naturally anticipate each character arch and resolution. I've written the first chapter of my next novel, but I will pause and give this approach a try before continuing.

Check it out below. 7 STEPS TO CREATING A FLEXIBLE OUTLINE FOR ANY STORY WRITTEN BY: BRIAN KLEMS (WRITER'S DIGEST)

http://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/7-steps-to-creating-a-flexible-outline-for-any-story

How to Write a Great Synopsis

 

I read this today and figured Elana wouldn't be too mad with me sharing it. She did, after all, publicly humiliate me in a query writing class she taught. Not to worry, I was a willing participant and deserved the critique I got. And it's good publicity for her.

The word synopsis  brings almost any writer to his or her knees. What does the agent or editor want, exactly? A few simple tips can take the mystery—and the pain—out of writing a synopsis.

It’s really hard to think of your creative work in a business sense—but that’s all a synopsis is. It’s a business summary of your work. That’s the first thing to remember: A synopsis is not a creative endeavor. It’s a straightforward explanation of what happens in your novel (go here to read about the nonfiction  equivalent—book proposals).

With that in mind, just buckle down and write. Some agents don’t specify how long they want a synopsis to be, but the most common lengths are one to three pages. A one-page synopsis should be 500 words; a two-page synopsis, 1,000 words; and a three-page synopsis, 1,500 words.

A synopsis has its own unique format. Follow these guidelines:

§  Put contact information, page numbers, and project title in the header/footer

§  Put the project title in ALL CAPS on the first line

§  Return twice and begin the synopsis

§  Put character names in ALL CAPS on first reference

§  Use block-style paragraphs (in other words, don’t indent)

§  Use a hard return between paragraphs

Here’s an example:

Narrow your focus to two things: character and plot. Then structure your synopsis around the following ten things:

1.    Setup for main character

2.    Inciting event—introduce the main conflict

3.    Main character’s debate—state the consequences

4.    Introduce secondary characters that matter (some don’t!)

5.    End of Act One—turning point

6.    Midpoint moment

7.    Scene that raises the stakes

8.    Villain and hero come face-to-face

9.    Main conflict solved

10.  Resolution

To begin, use those ten elements to write the entire synopsis without worrying about word count. You can always delete things later. Things you think  are important at first might not be; you’re simply trying to tell what happens in the story. Remember: the synopsis should  reveal how the book ends, something that you don’t  do in a query letter.

Below is a sample synopsis:

Synopsis for How to Train Your Dragon, Using the 10 Items Above

This synopsis is 689 words and is less than 1.5 pages.

1. Setup for main character

HICCUP lives in the Viking village of Berk, which is attacked by dragons that steal food and set things on fire. The villagers—who are led by Hiccup’s father, STOICK—fight the dragons off. Hiccup hauls out a bolas-shooting cannon and shoots a dragon out of the night sky.

2. Inciting event—introduce the main conflict (Hiccup can’t make himself kill the dragon)

The dragon lands in the woods near the village, and no one believes that Hiccup hit anything. The next day, Hiccup goes looking for the dragon. It turns out to be a rare and deadly Night Fury, but Hiccup can’t make himself kill it. Instead he releases it, and it spares him before flying off.

3. Main character’s debate

Hiccup finds the dragon, which he names TOOTHLESS, holed up in a valley because it’s been injured and can’t fly. He keeps his new dragon a secret, and while sketching it, Hiccup realizes that it’s missing a tail fin. After much trial and error, Hiccup builds and perfects a saddle, a control mechanism for the tail fin, and a safety harness.

4. Introduce secondary characters that matter

Meanwhile, Hiccup’s father has signed him up for dragon training with GOBBER—Hiccup’s blacksmith master—which is very different from the training he’s already doing with Toothless. He must learn to do what all Vikings do: Fight and kill dragons.

At first, he’s the worst student in the class. Since Hiccup has always been an accident-prone klutz, this comes as no surprise to his classmates, especially ASTRID, the girl Hiccup has a crush on.

5. End of Act One (turning point)

Before long, Hiccup is able to use the things he’s learned while working with Toothless to soothe the school’s practice dragons. It turns out dragons are just big softies: they like to be petted, they like to roll in the grass, and they love fish (but hate eels).

6. Midpoint moment

When Stoick returns from a failed search for the fabled nest of the dragons, he’s surprised and thrilled to hear that his son is doing well at dragon training. But Hiccup can’t explain that his success at dragon school came from the most unlikely place—his pet dragon.

7. Stakes-raising scene

When Hiccup subdues a practice dragon, unintentionally earning the privilege of killing it before the entire village, he’s horrified and decides to flee with Toothless. However, Astrid follows him and discovers Toothless. Hiccup takes her flying, and they get caught up in a flock of dragons. The dragons fly inside a mountainous island and drop food into a pit, which turns out to contain a huge, terrifying, and very hungry dragon—they’ve found the nest Hiccup’s father was looking for.

When they get home, Hiccup convinces Astrid not to reveal the location of the dragon nest. Before she goes, she punches him in the arm for kidnapping her. Then she kisses him for everything else that happened.

8. Villain (dragons) and hero (Hiccup) come face-to-face

At the dragon-killing ceremony, Hiccup discards his weapons in an attempt to show the Vikings that dragons only fight to defend themselves, but his father intervenes, and the dragon attacks. Toothless comes to Hiccup’s rescue and is on the verge of killing Stoick when Hiccup calls Toothless off.

9. Main conflict solved

Despite Hiccup’s protests, Stoick resolves to use Toothless to find the nest again. He loads a chained Toothless on his ship, and the Viking fleet sails off with the village warriors, leaving Hiccup behind. He and Astrid and their other classmates mount the practice dragons and fly in pursuit of the fleet.

At the dragons’ island, Stoick releases the giant dragon and realizes that he’s made a mistake. While Stoick and Gobber prepare to sacrifice themselves to distract the dragon, Hiccup arrives to join the battle.

Toothless and Hiccup go after the giant dragon, drawing it up into the clouds and away from the Vikings, where Toothless releases a blast into the giant dragon’s open mouth and it crashes and burns. Hiccup falls, and Toothless catches him.

10. Resolution

Back at home, Hiccup and Toothless go out into the village, which is full of swooping, frolicking dragons; the Vikings now treat them as pets. Astrid greets Hiccup with a kiss. Supplied by Gobber with a new tail fin prosthetic and saddle for Toothless, Hiccup takes flight with Astrid and his friends as he celebrates the new alliance of Vikings and Dragons.

Do This Now

1.    Write one paragraph—or, for a real challenge, only one sentence!—for each of the numbered items above. Just doing that might give you the short two-page synopsis you’re looking for. And if not, cut and trim, trim and cut until you’ve got it down to a manageable size.

2.    Now that you’ve written the synopsis, comb through it. Eliminate everything that isn’t absolutely crucial to the momentum of the story. Don’t be afraid to delete or to combine some things to create a shorter synopsis.

3.    Give your synopsis to your writing partners so they can help you. Best is to ask someone who has not  read your book to edit your synopsis; with an eye for unnecessary details, he or she can help you cut your synopsis down to size.

Elana Johnson’s work, including Possession, Surrender, Abandon, and Regret is available now everywhere books are sold. Her popular e-book, From the Query to the Call, is also available for download, as well as a Possession short story, “Resist.” School teacher by day, query ninja by night, you can find her online at her personal blog or Twitter. She also cofounded theQueryTracker blog, WriteOnCon, and contributes to the League of Extraordinary Writers.

LIE versus LAY

Okay, I'll admit. I just havn't been into the blogging thing lately. I've been too engrossed in working on my manuscript. But it's good to stick my head out from under the covers every once in a while. Here's a helpful grammar tip from Annette Lyon. Hope your enjoying the summer!

LIE versus LAY

1. PAST TENSE: Sometimes memorization is just best

• She lay down on her sofa to read.
• She laid the book on the table, I swear.
• She was lying on the carpet when it happened.

 2. PRESENT TENSE: Remember that the gerund form (WAS –ING) uses present tense.

•  She was laying down on her sofa to take a nap when the house exploded.
•  She was lying on the carpet when it happened.

 TIP: Use an irregular verb like EAT/ATE to figure out which tense you need.

• She was ating on the floor (no, so it couldn't be laying)
• She was eating on the floor (yes, so she was lying on the floor)

Story Structure

I attended a fantastic presentation by Dan Wells, at a writers conference back in February on story structure.

If you 're great at characterization, but struggle at weaving a compelling storyline together, this should be helpful. He refers to it as The Seven Point System. Before you start putting this structure together, you at least need to know who the main characters are, what the setting is, and what the major conflict is. Once you have those, start plugging in the rest as follows:

1. Hook

2. Plot Turn 1

3. Pinch 1

4. Midpoint

5. Pinch 2

6. Plot Turn 2

7. Resolution

Of course there can be several more pinches added, or even plot turns, but this is the basic structure--and it works. Sometimes it helps to start backwards.

The Resolution. Everything in your story should be leading up to this moment. What is your protagonist trying to overcome? Is it an external thing, force, etc, an internal thing, perhaps a combination of both?

The Hook. What is the hook that will grab your readers on page 1 or at the very least in chapter one and keep them turning the pages? Sometimes you have to use the ice-monster approach (think Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back where the movie begins with Luke being attacked by an ice-monster). Starting your novel with a lot of boring background / back story information is a big no, no - - especially if you're trying to get published for the first time. Dive right into the story and sink a hook into their reader that they can't escape from.

The midpoint is that magical place in your story where your protagonist finally begins to move from a reactionary state to one of action and determination (think Lord of the Rings and the Council of Elrond - when they finally decide what to do with the ring). It doesn't mean conflict and turmoil is over, it just means they're finally starting that journey towards resolution.

Plot Turn 1, is what moves you from the beginning to the midpoint. Major conflict is introduced, the protagonist’s world changes, etc. (think about Luke coming back and finding his Uncle dead or Harry Potter learning that a world of magic exists and he's a part of it)

Plot Turn 2, (can you guess?) moves the story from midpoint to resolution--where your protagonist receives that final thing needed to make it happen (think Neo, "The Power is in you!" or Dorothy in Wizard of Oz when she realizes all she has to do is click her heels or Luke: "Use the force Luke!")

Pinch 1, is where conflict is introduced--and the pressure is applied to your protagonist. Could be a bad guy attacks, a sickness, a death, etc--something that forces your character to action (think Harry Potter - when they discover a troll in the bathroom and no adults are around to help).

Pinch 2, apply more pressure until the situation feels hopeless--like there is no way to escape, at least until you get to plot turn 2-- starting to make sense? (think about when Gandalf appears to have been killed by the fiery demon from hell)

This structure can be used for the Hero's journey, romance, tragedy, etc. - - don't feel constrained by genre. As you work through this, make sure your protagonist goes through the try/fail cycles (at least twice). This can be done through multiple pinches where it doesn't always work out in the protagonist's favor. Victory should always be earned - - keep building the overall tension to the resolution with a few small victories along the way. Spread out the action to keep good pacing (your beta readers can help you with that).

Last of all, remember, this is a structure and is not a replacement for good writing. It helps if you take this and break down an existing book/movie as an example. Give it a try with Avatar and see what you come up with. The format works on just about any well written novel/script.

Word Count Warning

A word of advise to would be aspiring authors out there . . . if you're serious about getting published, make sure you pay close attention to word count for the genre you are writing in.  I read way too many blogs telling me to ignore word count and to just write the story, to just let it naturally unfold. Well, that's what I did with my first novel, Finding Home, targeted toward young adults, and the final word count ended up being just over 145,000 words.  If you've got the clout of J.K. Rowling or Stephenie Meyer, then you can maybe get away with this, but as a non-published author, I have since learned that I have almost no chance of getting this published.  The cost of paper is up, and most publishers have a very specific word count ranges they require a novel to be in for a specific genre, to even be considered.

Middle Grade books are typically in the 40,000 - 70,000 word range.
Young Adult books are typically in the 60,000 - 90,000 word range.

You'll find publishers who will go a little higher or lower depending on the book.  If you're on the high end, you're book has to have considerable commercial value to it for a publisher to want to take the risk of the added cost it will take to print.

This means that I am now in the oh so painful process of cutting almost 60,000 words from my first novel.  The process is making me a much better writer, but I would not recommend it to anyone, so if you're starting a new novel or even in the middle of one, make sure you have a publishable word count target in mind and that you are pacing/structuring your story towards that goal.  I did this with my second novel, and it has made the editing process infinitely more enjoyable.

As for Finding Home, I've cut about 5,500 words from the first three chapters. . . only 54,500 more words to go.  Ouch.

Oh, the pain!

I am trying to get the first chapter of my first novel - Finding Home - ready to submit to a first chapter competition and a few months ago I came to the painful realization that I had gone way too deep in describing my heroin's emotions rather than letting the story show her emotions.  I came across some great writing tips and have copied the section related to writing a first chapter below. These tips deeply resonated with me and so I painfully began the process of hacking my first chapter apart.

I faced two problems.  First: the first chapter did not contain a lot of dialogue or action - it was 4500 words filled with feelings, emotions and flash backs that while interesting and meaningful (especially to me as the author), much of it was not critical to the main story line.  Second: my second chapter is where the story explodes with great dialogue, conflict and plot.  So... what did I do?  I swallowed my pride, got my sharpest axe out, and began to iteratively chop away at hours and hours of literary prose.  My goal: to combine the first two chapters (8,451 words) into one super chapter without all the extras.  If you have not written a substantial text before where you believe it's all good and then been asked to cut it in half... I don't think you can begin to understand how hard this is.

I am happy to report that my 8,451 word chapter (combined first/second chapters) is now at a much healthier 4,503 words, and the bulk of cuts came from my original first chapter - almost 4000 words worth (don't worry - it's all stored in a safe place). The initial pain of going through this exercise has been extremely rewarding as I believe I now have a first chapter with legs to stand on.  The pace is much quicker, and rather than being told, the reader gets to experience what it is like to be dropped off at a home they've never seen before and to be stuck with a family that could not be more different than they are and told - "This is your new home."  And yes... I've still got some more hacking to do.

TIPS FOR THE FIRST CHAPTER

1. Make sure the first chapter starts with action.

2. Show, don't tell. This means you don't need a one paragraph description of a bedroom, a character's thoughts on everything, and for goodness sake don't put any backstory in the first chapter.

3. Keep it short. It doesn't have to be James Patterson short, but a ten page first chapter is better than a thirty page first chapter when it comes to grabbing attention.

4. Watch your POV... try to stick in one character's mind for the whole chapter.

5. Cut everything that doesn't move the action forward. EVERYTHING. If it moves the story forward, or gives us a better feel for the characters, put it in a later chapter, but not the first. Leave the reader wanting more, not knowing everything.

6. You probably don't need a prologue. Editors often cut them, and readers often skip them. Try to remove it and see if the story suffers. If you really believe you need one, don't make it longer than a few pages.

7. And this is the most important---trust yourself. You've been writing since you were four. You know how to craft a sentence. Not eveything needs to be rewritten---sometimes it comes out right the first time.